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Joke of the Day
"If you are cold just stand in a corner They are usually around 90 degrees"
Next Joke
"...and then the whiskey whispered ""You should totally tell her about what your ex used to do to you in bed."""
"I'm more excited to see my suitcase come down the baggage carousel at an airport than I am to see most people."
"Throwing away a good relationship because of problems that can be worked out, is like throwing away a new car because of a flat tire."
"How many cats sawed in half does it take to change a lightbulb? Apparently 10 aren't enough :\"
"The possibility that I hit REPLY ALL haunts every email I've ever sent."
"Be nice to me or I will rain down Hell upon you when I start my blog."
"Disney's Aladdin taught me that as long as you have a foundation of lies, actual magic, and one of you is rich, a relationship can work."
"What did the ireshmen say to the beer ? I love you....."
"Thanks 'the news', but I get my political info from the Facebook posts of crazy relatives and people I haven't seen since high school."