161999

Joke of the Day

"Congratulations! It's a boy Doctor : ""Congratulations! It's a boy!"" Parent : ""Sorry, did you just assume my child's gender?"""

"*standing outside your house I was totally going to stalk you but... *pets your dog instead"

"Dear Genitals, Thank you for not bleeding every month. Sincerely, A Man"

"Why did the little girl drop her ice cream? She got hit by a bus. Sequel: Why did the little girl's sister drop her ice cream? Someone threw a fridge at her."

"Hi, I'm here to see the doctor. -me Witch doctor? -reception Nooo...I think he's Jewish. -me [blank stare] Please sit down."

"The fact that there isn't a brand of crackers called Cracka Ass Crackers really makes me lose faith in black entrepreneurial spirit."

"The punchline comes first. How can you be sure that a comedian has traveled back in time?"

"What goes over the water, and under the water, but stays dry? Jesus in a submarine."

"What is Green, Slimy, and smells like Bacon? Kermit's finger."

"Opinions are like assholes... sometimes you need a second asshole"