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Joke of the Day
"Why is my father so abusive? Beats me"
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"""Hold the mayo"" is my ""shaken, not stirred."""
"How many Irishmen does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One to hold it in place and forty more to get drunk enough to make the room start spinning."
"I've fallen in love with my tailor. What can I say, he suits me"
"In Connecticut it is illegal... To hang a man with a wooden leg. You have to use a rope just like everywhere else"
"Step 1 to help stop a baby choking Take your dick out its mouth"
"THIS IS THE POLICE. COME OUT WITH YOUR HANDS UP. ""Wrong house guys."" ARE YOU SURE ABOUT THAT? ""Yup, happens a lot."" OKAY COOL, SORRY."
"What is Jack the Rippers favorite restaurant? Chick Fillet"
"What do you call a gay chickpea? A hummussexual."
"Punthagorean Theorem A and B are pretty square, but get to the root of C and you'll find he's always high, pot in use."