161979

Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a run-down Greyhound stop and a crabby, decrepit prosititute? The first is a crusty bus station, whereas the second is an accurate description of your mother."

"What's your favorite city in China? Taiwan"

"Teacher: Did you finish you homework? Kid: Did you finish grading my test? Teacher: I have other children's tests to grade Kid: I have other teachers homework to do"

"There should be a second 'The Ugly Duckling' written Benjamin Button-style for all the cute kids that turn out ugly."

"why couldn't the rabbi eat out during passover? His girlfriend had a yeast infection"

"So, I told a girl ""send boobs""... ...and she sent me a topless of her, 8 years old, at a beach. Girls are really losing it, man. Year-old picture?!"

"Physics! What hurts really bad? Frequency!"

"My microwave beeps if I don't open the door within 30 seconds of it stopping. I'm fat, microwave. I won't forget there's food in there."

"DAD: Think an earthquake's coming. MOM: Check Rocky; dogs always know. DOG *analysing seismic data*: I anticipate magnitudes of 6 or more."

"""Knock Knock."" ""Who's there?"" ""It's the Police, sir."" ""You'll have to wait, I'm having a shit."" ""We know, Sir, the Phone Box has glass sides!"""