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Joke of the Day

"[parent-teacher conference] Teacher: Which kid is yours? Me: I don't have kids. I just heard the teachers here are hot. T: M: How you doin'?"

"Before encouraging everyone to ""do whatever makes you happy,"" ask if anyone is a sadist. Don't encourage the sadists."

"Biggest fears: 4. Dancing in public 3. Spiders 2. Forgetting names 1. Dancing in public with spiders who's names I forget"

"Have you got a copy of ""Living with a small penis ?"" Librarian ""I don't think its in yet"" ""Yep thats the one"" I replied"

"What did Jay Z call his girlfriend when they were dating? A Feyonce"

"How To Tell If Your Girlfriend Is Secretly A Minivan"

"Who makes the best milkshakes ever? Michael J. Fox."

"I learned about genetic mutation in biology today. It was my first class."

"[Victora's Secret] Wife: You're the most supportive person I know. *A person made of bras walks by* Me: Um what about that guy?"

"What did one Spanish speaking white supremacist say to the other Spanish speaking white supremacist after eating a piece of delicious cake? Que queque!"