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Joke of the Day

"Biggest fears: 4. Dancing in public 3. Spiders 2. Forgetting names 1. Dancing in public with spiders who's names I forget"

"A man was found dead in an ice cream van covered in nuts and sprinkles Police say he topped himself"

"I'll rephrase the question, your honor. Sir, under whose custody did the dogs escape from?? And let me remind you that you're under oath"

"The struggle Guy: goes to get a drink out of the fridge, can falls and hits him on the head. Friend: Dont worry man, it was a soft drink. :v"

"How do ghosts like their chicken cooked? Terri-fried!"

"I think my girlfriend would make a good plumber She keeps bringing up old shit from weeks ago."

"What do you mean by being loud? quiet the opposite."

"Hillary will give her concession speech... Since somebody paid her $250,000 speaking fee."

"A Moment of Silence Let's all spare a few moments of silence for the man who told his wife he was going to China on that Malaysian flight no MH. 370 and now can't come out of his girlfriend's flat."

"What's the favorite song of blacks I shot the sheriff"