161859

Joke of the Day

"A buddhist monk approaches a burger food truck and says. . . ""Make me one with everything."""

"thank god 50 shades of grey got the R rating they wanted because what kid under 18 wouldn't want to watch 50 shades of grey with a parent"

"How does any girl have less than 90 thousand Instagram followers?"

"What do you call when a blonde dyes her hair brown? Artificial Intelligence"

"i found out how to kill vegetarian vampires a steak to the heart"

"First man: what is the most commonly used French expression? Second man: uhh... I give up"

"Girls, get your abortions NOW in case the Republicans win"

"A man sneezes on the subway who clearly has a cold. The man next to him says in a disgusted tone, ""people like you make me sick."""

"5 out of 4 people have a problem with fractions... I'm just gonna let that sink in for a second."

"What are your thoughts on monorails? They make decent one-liners."