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Joke of the Day

"thank god 50 shades of grey got the R rating they wanted because what kid under 18 wouldn't want to watch 50 shades of grey with a parent"

"How do you tell when somebodies a vegan? You don't, they will tell you."

"The name of a cow trying to be a Knight... Sir Loin."

"New Coworker: So do you have any kids? Me: Yeah, one too many New Coworker: Haha, oh yeah? How many do you have? Me: One"

"Why should one masturbate while calling Comcast customer support? Because getting fucked in the asshole when you are not horny feels awful"

"Cop; Know why I pulled you over? Me; Because you got beat up in high school Cop;....... Me; Because you got beat up in high school, Sir?"

"nws, easter what Some told me they were going to an egg toss, me, Is that an oral sex party"

"How many Mexicans does it take to change a Lightbuld? Only Juan..."

"I made this up when i was 10... Whats a frogs favorite restaurant? IHOP!!!"

"""People want to drink a panic attack."" -- inventor of 5 Hour Energy"