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Joke of the Day

"[creation] GOD: Gather round creatures & I'll tell you what you'll eat ANTEATER: I'm SO excited! DUNG BEETLE: I got a bad feeling about this"

"Divorce is tough on some kids. Others are just happy to be single again."

"Anyone ever seen Stevie Wonders house? Neither has he!"

"If you tell me having a dog is the same as having a kid then I'm going to assume you yell at your dog to keep his pants on at Wal-Mart."

"What kind of car does a rich shepherd drive? A Lamb-orghini!"

"What did Obama's dad say when his mom wanted anal? Well they don't call me ""Saddamy"" Hussein for nothing!"

"Mimes give each other the unsilent treatment."

"Jesus, the first pin up model"

"Someone just licked their thumb before handing me a paper. I hope my story inspires other victims to come forward."

"[Jesus at Last Supper] [holds up bread] This is my body [holds up wine] This is my blood [holds up Instagram pic] This was my breakfast"