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Joke of the Day

"What kind of car does a rich shepherd drive? A Lamb-orghini!"

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"Going as a hashtag for Halloween so everybody ignores me."
"Everyone on Reddit is nosey.. See. I told you.."
"It's 2014 and somehow we still don't have a car mirror that can make objects appear exactly as far away as they are."
"Where do pedophiles get the wedding rings? They go to Jared."
"""Sorry my phone died"" -something I've said 5,326 times but it's never actually happened"
"What do you call a nurse with flat knees? The ""head"" nurse."
"If twenty dogs run after one cat what time is it? Twenty after one."
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"I called the rape support hotline last night. Apparently it is only for victims."