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Joke of the Day

"Charlie and the Chocolate Factory is basically Saw, but with desserts."

"I don't drink water anymore, not after what it did to the Grand Canyon"

"Why are men better cooks than women? Because with a sausage, a couple of eggs, and some cream, a man can keep a woman full for 9 months."

"How many chiropractors does it take to change a light bulb? Just one. But it takes about 8-10 visits."

"The Bible is subtitled ""Shit My God Says""."

"Why could Edward not leave his driveway and get back to his home country? He was Snowden."

"Did you hear the one about the three eggs? Too Bad."

"When did intentionally misspelling words become a thing? Kewl? Gurl? You know what I dig? Literacy."

"Last year, I got socks for Christmas. The year before, I got a couple of sacks. And before that, a sax. For pity's sake, Santa, you blind old jerk, it's sex. S-E-X."

"Red sky at night shepherd's delight. Red sky in the morning... Your barn's on fire."