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Joke of the Day
"What happens when an Illuminati member works out and gets really buff? He becomes an Illumi-hottie"
Next Joke
"Nobody ever believes me when I say I have to go to the bathroom. They always say that I'm full of crap"
"My attempt at a joke? My mum is going through Labour and my dad says: ""Could Ukip already?"""
"I like my women like I like my car parking spaces... Disabled only."
"Why does Helen Keller masturbate with only 1 hand? because she is moaning with the other."
"I can tell these $80 Nikes are going to help me get from the couch to the bathroom six times a day a lot faster."
"""Half a dozen"" because saying '6' is way too long... >_<"
"Last New Year my resolution was 1920x1080 , this year it's to be less of a nerd."
"With the new Disney-Lucas Films merger... ... is Leia a Disney princess?"
"[trying to talk to girl] Ha so you from around here? ""Ya"" Cool me too. I love planet earth"