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Joke of the Day

"Just found James Franco in the alley behind my apartment playing checkers with a pigeon."

"A man's work is never done. ""...Something both men and women can agree on!"""

"A recent survey in the UK asked the following question: Are there too many foreigners in this country now? 18% answered: **YES** 82% answered ** **"

"COP: careful, this guy's insane DETECTIVE: ok [he walks into the interrogation room] ME: i dont like the creme part of oreos D: jesus christ"

"What's the difference between a chickpea and a lentil? You wouldn't pay $200 to have a lentil on your face."

"What do you and 1 ply toilet paper have in common? You BOTH eat *da*-booty!"

"How does ISIL prefer their eggs? Sunni side up at first. But they always end up scrambled."

"I'm a bisexual who just broke up and is now single. I guess you could say I'm on standbi."

"A conversation between 2 vegans: ""I'm a vegan."" ""I'm a vegan too."" ""Oh."" ""So...you're a vegan?"" ""Yes, I am a vegan."" ""Me too."""

"""Don't worry, I'll hold your stuff. You just worry about making friends."" - Cargo Pants"