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Joke of the Day

"My crush said he made his phone keys sticky thinking of me so I dumped him. I'm disgusted. What kind of loser still has keys on his phone?"

"What's a pedophiles favorite piece of classical music? Symphony in A Minor"

"How do you know the toothbrush was made in France? Anywhere else it would've been the ""teethbrush"""

"How are Clinton scandals like Pokemon? You'll never catch 'em all!"

"Teenager: Bae swag YOLO Me: In better times, people who spoke gibberish like that were burned as witches."

"Why are waiters terrible pornstars? They only want the tip"

"What is the most painful way to be measured In megahertz"

"Q. What did the snail say when he hitched a ride on the turtle? A. Wheeeee!!!!!"

"Do you have a hole in your sock? Then how the hell did you get your foot in it?"

"Currently helping my wife looking for her favourite vase that I threw out six months ago."