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Joke of the Day

"Undertaker: ""What do you want your husbands gravestone to say?"" Wife: ""Nothing. I want a traditional, non-talking one."""

"{Kid's bday party} Me: Where's the cake? Mom of kid: We don't believe in sugar. Me: I promise it's real. I've seen it with my own eyes."

"How many social scientists does it take to change a light bulb? None. Social scientists do not change light bulbs; they search for the root cause as to why the last one went out."

"What do you do with a Jew with ADHD? Put him in a concentration camp."

"If Kim and Kanye name their next kid North West again, we can comfortably refer to the two as One Direction."

"What is a snowman's favorite book ? War and Frozen Peas !"

"Dear Abby, My pastor insists that being gay is wrong, yet he ends all his letters with the words ""In Him"" Help! Perplexed in Poughkeepsie"

"Self-Love Joke When I was at the zoo, I couldn't figure out why a monkey was staring at me with its hand between its legs. Then it came to me."

"I just ate so much Chinese food that now I'm able to use algorithms based on linear algebra to solve large numerical systems."

"My girlfriend is like a bagpipe When I squeeze her she makes annoying noises."