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Joke of the Day

"Dear Abby, My pastor insists that being gay is wrong, yet he ends all his letters with the words ""In Him"" Help! Perplexed in Poughkeepsie"

"Why did the phone get away with its crime? Because it had good connections!"

"What does a Mermaid bring to math class? An algae-bra."

"What do Brazil and lesbians have in common? Neither like touching balls."

"I wouldn't mind being catcalled if it were useful: ""Hey baby, boot sale at Macy's!"" or, ""Line's shorter at Starbucks on 5th, sweet cheeks!"""

"What do politicians and sperm have in common? About 1 in every 600 million has a chance of becoming a human."

"What did the self-deprecating Indian say about his car? ""It has Injun problems."""

"Watching the Olympics. Me: HOLY SHIT THAT WAS AMAZING! GOLD MEDAL! Announcer: Ohhh! Not a good performance, those scores will not be pretty."

"What's the difference between an Aussie and a Yoghurt? A Yoghurt's got culture!"

"That depressing moment when you plug your phone in your charger and hours later you realise your charger wasn't plugged in."