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Joke of the Day

"I must have a great ass Because after leaving a conversation, I always hear someone mumble ""what an ass."""

"My buddy is awesome at grilling steaks. They are all very well done"

"How does a penman make his living? He charges a calligra-fee of course!"

"Either the kids on my street were playing with sidewalk chalk, or this is a crime scene and a bunch of stars and cats just got murdered."

"I really gotta quit drinking. Last night I got so wasted I blew chunks for hours... Chunks is my 4 year old bulldog."

"Your baby was cute until I realized you're on the same flight as me. Now your baby is stupid."

"How many kids with ADD does it take to change a lightbulb? Lets go ride bikes!"

"How many Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb? Juan"

"GOD: it's time I punished the humans again JESUS: cool. flood or plague? GOD:[watching The Apprentice] oh I've something way worse in mind.."

"I'm at my classiest when my date rips my bra off and cookie crumbs fall out"