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Joke of the Day

"""Your password is weak"" You're the weak one And you'll never know love Or friendship And I feel sorry for you"

"Roses are red violets are blue... Sugar is sweet and so are you... The roses have wilted the violets are dead Sugar is lumpy and so is your head."

"How do you stop a black kid from jumping on the bed? tape velcro to the ceiling."

"Hey wanna take the elevator with me and discuss what day of the week it feels like? And then we can go over what day it actually is, deal?"

"My Mom watched me play ""Madden"" for 40 minutes then asked ""What game are you watching?"" I wonder what she thought I was doing with my hands."

"In 1973, the Six Million Dollar Man consisted of a bionic man with super powers... In 2016, the Six Million Dollar Man consists of two hip replacements."

"A Jamaican went to the barber. It was a dreadful experience."

"Why doesn't Santa have any children? Because he only comes once a year and it's down the chimney."

"'What just cracked?' A guide to aging."

"If I was a transformer, I would turn into Megan Fox's vibrator"