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Joke of the Day

"My Mom watched me play ""Madden"" for 40 minutes then asked ""What game are you watching?"" I wonder what she thought I was doing with my hands."

"[at the gym] Trainer: ""Why don't you tell me what your workout goals are."" Me: ""Goals? I'm just here so I don't eat for an hour."""

"""It all started with a Klondike Bar.."" -Nostalgic Prostitute"

"Moses was leading his people through the desert for 40 years. It seems, even in Biblical times men avoided asking the way."

"What did the cow say to the paintbrush? Moo. As told by my kid this morning."

"Brain: We've got lots to do today. Body: You're on your own buddy."

"That confusing moment when the person you hate at work brings donuts"

"There are three types of people in the world. Those that are good at math and those that are not."

"Why did the chicken not cross the road? Because it would have been a fowl proceeding."

"I have an irrational fear of elevators I always feel like they are going to let me down someday."