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Joke of the Day
"As a purple faced man I long to meet a purple faced woman someday... Don't hold your breath"
Next Joke
"Sometimes I wake up grumpy; other times I let her sleep......."
"Why can you trust chocolate but not marshmallow? Because chocolate doesn't make a peep."
"What has one ""n"", two ""g""s, an ""i"", ""e"", and an ""r"" and you can only say this word when you belong to this group? ginger"
"Thank you to all the people who tweet landscape pictures so we don't forget what it looks like outside"
"Where do ISIS fighters go to purchase soda and candy? Allahu snackbar!"
"Parkour or plastic? *bounces away with your groceries*"
"A Higgs Boson walks into a church and the priest shouts ""Hey we dont allow Higgs Bosons here!"" Higgs Boson replied ""But without me how can you have mass?"""
"What does an Alzheimer's patient say whenever they browse /r/funny? ""Hey, this looks new!"""
"What is red and smells like blue Froot Loops? The murder-suicide scene at Toucan Sam's Miami penthouse."