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Joke of the Day

"Don't tell a Klepto this... ...they take everything literally."

"Man, that's a cold joke... but, Icee what you did there."

"I'm running low on funny but I have plenty of sexy left."

"I asked my wife what women really want and she said ""attentive lovers""... ...actually she might have said ""A tent of lovers"", I don't really listen to her needs and opinions."

"How do you get a unicorn from neighing in your front yard? Put it in the back yard."

"""Tens of Thousands of Ants Killed"", reads the headline of Ant Daily newspaper every single day. It is hard to be an ant."

"And the Lord said unto John.. ""Come forth and receive eternal life."" But John came fifth and won a toaster."

"What does The White House and my underwear have in common? They both contain very large black dicks that can't wait to fuck you."

"Ladies: If he's right handed, and you find the mouse to the left of the computer monitor, there is only one explanation. Sorry Guys."

"What do you call a pair of crows? An attempted murder."