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Joke of the Day

"My brain is like Internet Explorer Slow, rarely used, and needs some things deleted from its history"

"I feel so empty after sex... It's OK though. I'm a prostate gland."

"Come forth. And the Lord said unto John, come forth and receive eternal life. But John came fifth and won a toaster."

"I am looking at my neighbor's wife through the wall with this new thermal imaging scope. She's hot!"

"I was going to start my diet today, but as it turns out pizza still exists, so..."

"I'll try to explain the concept of lubricated soap.... ...but its quite difficult to grasp."

"I want to go back in time... And change the way the letter 'eight' is pronounced to sodomized. Then in the future ask people why was nine afraid of seven?"

"My grandpa died peacefully in his sleep... But not the other 3 people in his car."

"I used to play water polo But the horse drowned"

"Riley can be a little girl's name, it's not always a dog's name. If someone says Riley's been sick don't bring up euthanasia right away."