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Joke of the Day

"My friends and I were trying to decide which award winning drama TV show we should watch It came down to the wire."

"I scream, You scream, We all scream because grandma is visiting for Christmas and she forgot her hearing aids again."

"An Irshman leaves a bar."

"When I jerk off I like to sit on my other hand until it gets numb, then change to that hand right at the last minute . . . I call it ""the old 'bate and switch""!"

"What did Tommy Wiseau say when he got an A on his final? Oh, hi Marks!"

"Why does Luigi bring an extra pair of overalls when he golfs? In case he gets a hole-in-one"

"The Inventor of Stereo steps back to admire his work and says ""Let's see how this pans out."""

"You shouldn't kiss anyone on January 1st It's only the first date."

"If my children are any indication of how much I talk, I would now like to apologize to any man I've ever dated...EVER"

"I debated suicide... I debated suicide by sudoku once. I wanted my death to count."