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Joke of the Day

"An Irshman leaves a bar."

"I think my wife is cheating on me with an undertaker. I could swear she was wearing clothes when she died."

"Why couldn't the potato get off the couch? Because it was baked."

"I always put both of my arms inside of my shirt when I'm pulled over because most officers will go easy on drivers who don't have any arms."

"baby proofing your house is easy, just lock your doors. There's no way they could get in unless there were like hundreds of them or somthing"

"Sir you don't need to be tailgating me I'm already going 55mph in a 35mph zone And the lights on top of your car look ridiculous"

"What does a gay horse eat? Haaaaaaaaayyyyy! Sounds better with a stereotypical SOA biker voice. I'll show myself out."

"/r/News mods did a great job today ... Get it?"

"So I sadly discovered that username Iloveyouforever has been taken"

"I am so glad that I poop in a toilet, rather than a bag. Given that I did that for 14 months of my life, perspective is a nice thing."