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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a pick-pocket and a peeping tom? A pick-pocket snatches watches."

"What did one suicide bomber say to the other? ""Dude, I don't think it worked."""

"Arguing on the internet is like competing in the Special Olympics Even if you win, you're still fucking retarded."

"Big Smoke walks into a bar He ordered two number nines, a number nine large, a number six with extra dip, a number seven, two number forty-fives, one with cheese, and a large beer."

"I need some help with my Halloween costume. I'm dressing up as Ebola and I want to make sure everyone gets it."

"Waddya get if you mix Canadian Club and Southern Comfort? What you most assuredly deserve"

"My son got sent home from school today for chewing gum in class. I had to phone the teacher and explain to her that he's only trying to give up smoking."

"So Five Night's at Freddy's 3 was announced Is it going to have a dead horse animatronic that you have to beat?"

"What's the other word for a pedophile with a large hat? The Pope. (sorry if repost, my friend just told it to me)"

"My dogs are barking a lot lately but I think it is because their performance appraisals are coming up"