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Joke of the Day
"My wife wants the living room walls to be something neutral. I'm painting Switzerland."
Next Joke
"""sorry sorry sorry reallysorry reallysorry sorry"" - remorse code"
"The only thing keeping me from driving off this bridge is the insurance rate increase if I survive."
"Every night Owen Wilson secretly prays tomorrow will be the day his son breaks his nose for the first time."
"What came first? The chicken or the egg? Clearly the chicken. How would an egg orgasm?"
"What do a pizza delivery man and a gynecologist have in common? They can both smell it but they can't eat it."
"Did you know Hellen Keller had a treehouse? Neither did Hellen Keller."
"I have a serious salad problem... ...it needs a dressing."
"I like how people say pets love you unconditionally like if you didn't feed them and someone else did they wouldn't go to them immediately."
"Why are LED's a good investment? Because they always diode."