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Joke of the Day

"Did you know Hellen Keller had a treehouse? Neither did Hellen Keller."

"Fighting childhood obesity.... ....is as easy as taking candy from a baby."

"My SO thinks this is a very funny joke... is it? Q: Where do ballerinas go to get their torrents? A: The Pirouette Bay"

"A Spanish magician announced that for his final trick, he would vanish into thin air. He counted down: uno, dos, then POOF! He was gone, without a tres."

"Amazon thinks my recent humidifier purchase was merely the inaugural move in a newfound hobby of humidifier collecting."

"Grandson is having sex with his grandma The father walks in and says, Son! Your fucking with my mother! The grandson replys: so! You fuck mine all the time and i dont tell you shit!"

"Where do trees keep their money? In branch banks."

"Sometimes I enjoy my steak undercooked.. ...but that's rare."

"The best thing after an intensive argument is the reconciliation sex... ...but boy, do I hate to argue with my in-laws."

"""Give it to me!"" she said, ""I'm so fcuking wet, give it to me right now!"" And I replied, ""Fcuk you, it's my umbrella!"