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Joke of the Day

"Changed my name in Mrs.B's phone to 'Marty McFly'. Sent her a text saying 'be outside Argos at 12pm - we're going back'. She hasn't txt back"

"What's the difference between a dead cat and a dead lawyer on the road? The dead cat has skid marks around it."

"""Don't believe everything you read"" is the best motto I've ever read. But I'm not sure if I should believe it or not. I'm so confused now."

"Why do Java programmers need glasses? Because they can't C#."

"Why'd the chicken cross the road? To get to the retards house. **knock knock"

"Selling Darwinian birds: 5 for $5 Buck finches; get money."

"Why is legislation never passed by horses? Large number of neigh votes."

"Apparently I watch too much internet porn.... At least that's what my ebony girlfriend says."

"Did you hear about the paperboy who masturbated on the job? It was all over the news! (Can't remember where I heard this, so sorry if its a repost)"

"Survival Tip: If confronted by a dinosaur while hiking, politely but firmly explain that it is extinct."