217182

Joke of the Day

"Friend celebrated her birthday today by falling off an elephant in Thailand, if you thought I'm the weird one in my circle."

"So Amish people just yell their tweets from the top of their barns?"

"Tired of hearing the same song over and over again? Try being in marching band."

"date: where did u get that, i don't see that on the menu me: (biting into my corn on the cob) i bring my own corn on the cob"

"How many dead prostitutes does it take to change a lightbulb? Obviously not 8, because its still dark in my basement."

"Bernie Sanders If I had a nickel for every time a redditor posted about something Bernie Sanders, I'd be the kind of person he is always smearing. A BILLIONAIRE!"

"What's your favorite genre of music? ""Not Metal."""

"What steps do you take if you encounter a bear in the wild? Fucking big ones!"

"What does Kim Jong-un have in common with gingers? No Seoul."

"Sign in a Chinese Pet Store: ""Buy one dog, get one flea..."""