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Joke of the Day

"New study finds that everyone you disagree with is like so, so stupid."

"Skrillex is the worst lab partner I've ever had to work with. Every time I hand him a beaker of alkaline solution, he drops it."

"What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend? Wiped his arse"

"What do an anorexic girl and the UK have in common? They both lose pounds really fast."

"My new years resolutions are: 1: Stop making lists. B: Be more consistent. 7: Learn to count."

"Trump and Pence are so homophobic ... ... they couldn't get a mandate. HAHAHA! A lot of people are going to die in the next 4 years."

"When I'm at a bar with my cousin she doesn't think it's funny when I yell 'BUT HE'S YOUR GYNECOLOGIST!' every time the music dies down."

"I stopped using Hotmail, it's not for me. I'd rather have an average mail with a pleasant sense of humor and a fulfilling career."

"Whats the difference between a dirts bus stop and a crab with big boobs? One is a crusty bus station, and the other is a busty crustacean."

"Why can't you shop in the UAE? There's nothing Dubai."