16108

Joke of the Day

"When I'm at a bar with my cousin she doesn't think it's funny when I yell 'BUT HE'S YOUR GYNECOLOGIST!' every time the music dies down."

"4-year-old: What happens if I throw up in the red shoe bin by the door? Me: Why is your question alarmingly specific? 4: No reason."

"What do you call the sequel to Straight Outta Compton about Dr Dre and Snoop Dogg? The Next Episode"

"You think you're not capable of violence, but then a bird sings at 6AM and you start researching surface-to-air missiles."

"Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free... I need the cheap labor."

"I played a blank CD at full blast yesterday ...the mimes next door went nuts."

"What dog do other dogs go to when they are sick? A docs-hund!"

"Castro: I will not die until America is destroyed Trump: I'm gonna be the president Castro: well then"

"I drive an Audi to compensate for my innie."

"""They had to amputate them both at the ankles,"" said Tom, defeated."