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Joke of the Day

"What did the CPU say to the RAM? Sorry to cache you out but I want the data closer. The RAM replied: you're right, ""life"" is too short."

"Why is a toothbrush a ""tooth"" brush? Cause it was invented in Alabama! [Inspiration came from the comments](http://mobile.reuters.com/article/idUSKBN0GP1NS20140825?irpc=932)"

"How do you keep a blonde busy? Write ""Please turn over"" on both sides of a page and hand it to her."

"How many Republicans does it take to change a light bulb? None. The Russians did it apparently."

"WIFE: no no no I loved your vows I just thought you could've used the word 'bloodthirsty' a little less"

"The boss said I should let my creative juices flow. What he doesn't know is that my creative juices are vodka and cranberry."

"How do you seperate the men from the boys? A crowbar."

"My goal weight is to stop hearing 'you have a great personality'"

"finally found a way to refer to myself + dog in a way that's creepier than the mother/child dichotomy: FUR HUSBAND and SKIN WIFE"

"What's a thesaurus's favorite cereal? Synonym Toast Crunch"