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Joke of the Day
"What's a thesaurus's favorite cereal? Synonym Toast Crunch"
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"What do you call 50 feminists on a bus? Trick Question. You can't fit 50 feminists on a bus."
"I used to find window shopping depressing..... then I visited Amsterdam."
"Surprise a beautiful person today by disagreeing with them."
"What does a guy from Philly dunk his pretzel in? a girl from Jersey."
"Okay, wait a second. I pee, I do my belt, THEN I wash my hands. I don't know about you but I've never, ever washed my belt."
"Stoners are gearing up to do on 4/20 what they do every other day of the year."
"Arguing with someone spoils your day and mood, increases your blood pressure and is bad for your health. Instead of arguing, Just punch them in the fucking face and be done with it."
"Q: What did the big chimney say to the little chimney? A: You're too young to smoke."
"I came home from work early today and caught my daughter masturbating with a cucumber ""That's disgusting"" I said, ""I'm meant to be eating that tonight, now it's going to taste like salad."""