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Joke of the Day
"If you arrive fashionably late in crocs... You're just late"
Next Joke
"Two peanuts walk into a bar... One of them was a salted."
"John: we need a new word for foolishness Tom: How about johnfoolery lol John: Ok that's definitely what I'm writing down"
"What did one tampon say to the other?... Nothing, They're all stuck up cunts!"
"Divorce lawyers all over the world are rubbing their hands together in glee now that Twitter DM has a picture function."
"I was in McDonald's today.. I smiled at the bloke and said ""Can I have a small shake please?"" ""Fuck off"" came the reply as he quickly zipped his up jeans and walked away from the urinal."
"I caught two kids smoking pot outside my office. Fifteen minutes later my boss caught me and two kids smoking pot outside my office."
"Did you hear about the kidnapping? He woke up"
"If you truly want my undivided attention start to tell me something then say never mind"
"I named my dog Herpes... If she's good, she'll heel. (Stolen from Priscilla)"