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Joke of the Day

"I hate it when you gain 10 pounds for a role... And then remember that you're not an actor."

"My friend said she was taking next week off to be with her new puppy. I said, ""You're taking mutt-ernity leave?"""

"Mission Impossible? He's done four of them now. Let's call it ""Mission Pretty Hard but Ultimately Doable"""

"My eyebrows were just trimmed during my haircut so I'm officially 80."

"If your method of birth control is abstinence... ...and you miss a day, you might be in trouble."

"Light Yagami thought he was going to die on those stairs, but then he woke up the next day... And realized it was just a Near-Death experience."

"What do you call a one-eyed sailor? Pop-eye the sailor man!"

"""Treat Others the Way You Want to be Treated"" *Buys everyone snacks"

"A mushrooms walks into a bar... ... The bartender yells ""Get the hell outta here!"" The mushroom says ""But why?! I'm a Fungi!"""

"Remember when people uses Chuck Norris jokes? They all died because of unknown source :)"