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Joke of the Day
"My eyebrows were just trimmed during my haircut so I'm officially 80."
Next Joke
"What's your opinion on the mobius strip debate? I find it a tad one-sided."
"Why did Princess Leia cry at the end of Return of the Jedi? Her father just died."
"What if texting broke for a month society would be like uhhhhhjjjjjjhhhhhhhhhhh ""hello may I please speak to so and so"" all nervous and shit"
"What did Paul Walker say after filiming the car chase scene?"
"This mallard waddled into a bar... Should've ducked."
"African conservationists call for the ban on hunting hippopotamus to be lifted, citing environmental concerns. To me the whole thing seems so hippocritical."
"How much credibility is there in that whole ""you can punch yourself handsome"" theory? Asking for a friend."
"What's the difference between O and Q? One had to P."
"Divorce I consider myself pretty lucky in my divorce because we negotiated a 50-50 split of our assets. My wife got half, my lawyer got half."