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Joke of the Day

"Mission Impossible? He's done four of them now. Let's call it ""Mission Pretty Hard but Ultimately Doable"""

"How many PETA memebers does it take to change a light bulb? None. PETA can't change anything."

"I'm opening up a restaurant called: I Don't Care, Where Do You Wanna Go?"

"The NYPD only does no-knock jokes."

"My therapist thinks meeting women on twitter for sex is a bad idea. His wife disagrees."

"Will Smith's website isn't responding. What do you do? Refresh Prince of Bel Air."

"How does a woman differ from a computer? You can actually punch information into a computer."

"What kind of underwear does a math-obsessed mermaid wear? An algae bra."

"Shout out to my kids. BECAUSE SHOUTING IS THE ONLY WAY THEY HEAR ME."

"[overhears girl at work crying because her grandad & her dad died this month] Me: not all men are like that"