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Joke of the Day
"How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them."
Next Joke
"My wife is going sky diving and I'm truly terrified The last time something that large hit the ground the fucking dinosaurs died!"
"Some people don't believe in New Year resolutions. Like everyone in this McDonald's drive thru."
"Oh, I see you're an extrovert. Sorry, we can't be friends. I already have a friend who's an extrovert. One of you is enough."
"Jealousy is something you're good at when you think you suck at everything."
"The titanic hits an iceburg and the captain says... ''I NOMINATE ALL PASSENGERS FOR THE ICE BUCKET CHALLENGE''"
"Somebody please tell ugly girls with opinions that nobody is listening."
"Why do women wear makeup and perfume? Because they're ugly and they stink!"
"A scientist and a philosopher..."
"If a cop busts you with a prostitute, slip an engagement ring on her finger & be like ""Joke's on you, bro; we're in love!"""