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Joke of the Day
"How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them."
Next Joke
"A termite walks into a bar He says, ""is the bar tender here?"""
"Why did the tennis player get thrown out of his workshop? He was making a racket."
"Pro tip: Instead of having kids, just adopt a couple raccoons. They'll trash your house too, but at least they can feed themselves."
"What animal is prone to both manic and depressive episodes? A bipolar bear."
"What did Jay-Z call Beyonce before they got married? Feyonce"
"I had to fire my secretary after she got implants... She used to work for a flat rate, then she demanded I pay her an inflated rate."
"I always have too much month left at the end of my money."
"What did the FSB call the dissident who had been shot fifteen times in the head? The worst case of suicide they'd ever seen."
"Him: your account was stolen! Me: My twitter account? Him: no your bank account! *sigh* Me: thanks God!"