36628

Joke of the Day

"If a cop busts you with a prostitute, slip an engagement ring on her finger & be like ""Joke's on you, bro; we're in love!"""

"What is brown and bad for teeth? A brick."

"A polar bear walks into a bar Sez, ""l'll take a gin .... [ ] .... ..... and tonic."" Bartender sez, ""Why the big pause""?"

"Why I will never go bungee jumping... I was brought into this world through a broken rubber and I'm not about to be taken out by one."

"Why was the virgins' wedding during the middle of the week? Because Wednesday is hump day."

"Be kind to your dentist. He has fillings too."

"Two chickens were chatting around the coop. ""That big rooster next door made a pass at me!"" one exclaimed. ""Really? Did you provoke him?"" ""Well, I egged him on a little."""

"My oldest played with BPA free toys that I sterilized constantly. My youngest is playing with a metal coat hanger and a AA battery."

"I'm attracted to fat chicks... ...by the force of gravity"

"The sincerest form of flattery is having a robot from the future sent back in time to kill you. Imitation is a distant second."