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Joke of the Day

"Why is Santa so jolly? Because he knows where all the naughty girls live"

"I've survived enough awkward high-fives to know they're not worth the risk"

"Khakis In most places, losing your khakis means you have no pants. In Boston, if you lose your khakis, you can't drive."

"Poor Brain... It got to named itself, but was dyslexic, so Brian it was not."

"[petting friend's new guidedog] so how did you get here? ""he brought me"" wow [later in bed w/ wife] did you know dave's dog can drive a car?"

"Heard this gem in the video game L.A. Noire. Three blondes walk into a bar. You'd think one of them would have saw it."

"'Twas the night before Christmas, and everyone knew, you were still out shopping, yes, it sucks to be you."

"I remember the first time I saw my girlfriend, her hair was blowing in the wind, but she was too proud to run after it."

"I also wanted to post a hydraulic press video... ... but your mom was busy."

"My mom just took away my mood ring. I don't know how I feel about it."