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Joke of the Day

"'Twas the night before Christmas, and everyone knew, you were still out shopping, yes, it sucks to be you."

"What did Meghan Trainor say when she got mugged? Please sir, I don't want any treble."

"The KKK was started by some dork who wanted to wear robes and call himself a wizard and his dad was like ""Ok but only if you're racist too."""

"[at restaurant trying not to let anyone know I'm a koala] Waiter: ""what can I get u?"" ""do u have any eucalyptus?"" *restaurant goes quiet*"

"My girlfriend can manipulate the muscles in her fanny to make a shag feel like a blowjob. Ironically, when she uses the muscles in her mouth, she sounds like a twat."

"My neighbors listens to awesome music whether they like it or not."

"Calculators are useless What I need is a calcunow"

"Just spilled red wine ALL OVER my insides."

"Heard the local weatherman say, ""high in the thirties"" & now I know the title to my autobiography."

"Joke from New Zealand: ""What's a Hindu?"" Lays iggs."