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Joke of the Day

"Why did the elephant sit on the marshmallow? Because he didn't want to fall into the cup of hot chocolate."

"What do you call an Irish snake in Lord of the Rings? Legolas"

"What do you call an amorous vampire? A neck-romancer"

"26 letters, minus the U. What do you get? A solipsistic Alphabet."

"Think about it! You're already thinking about it, you might as well do it."

"Dandruff. Plastic bags. Dish soap --> things more interesting than my friends' Facebook updates"

"Smartphones are a lot like instant coffee... They're both good 'till the last drop."

"So far, I've gotten away with passing as an adult again today."

"I accidentally wet the bed I share with my girlfriend.... She's still pissed"

"What do you call a skydiving tonsil who's afraid that something bad might happen? Paranoid!"