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Joke of the Day

"Advertising taught me that hair conditioner makes you move in slow motion."

"How many Sanders supporters does it take to change a light bulb? Trick question, they can't change anything."

"Now that Christmas is over, don't forget to be thankful for all the children in China who made your kid's toys."

"I need advice. I was whipping someone in a gimp mask during a BDSM session, but when he took it off - it wasn't my husband. Whoops, wrong sub."

"I'm straight but not ""get my alibi"" straight."

"What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick!"

"Just been on a 'once in a lifetime holiday'... ...never again. [/timvine]"

"I've never eaten the right amount of Indian food."

"A 15 year old took gold in the Olympics and then there is me whose greatest accomplishment is getting up to 10 on flappy bird."

"If kryptonite is Superman's only weakness, what is Supperman's only weakness? Leftovernite"