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Joke of the Day
"Advertising taught me that hair conditioner makes you move in slow motion."
Next Joke
"If shit was music, you'd be an orchestra."
"There are two hats on a hanger... The broken one says to the other: ""You go on a head..."""
"What do you get when you mix an insomniac, an agnostic and a dyslexic? Someone who stays up all night wondering whether or not there is dog."
"Chuck Norris drinks napalm to quell his heartburn."
"A door walks into a bar The bartender asks, ""Why the long face?"" The door responds, ""I'm off my hinges."""
"What is the opposite of progress? [](/colgatereally)Congress."
"I was in bed with the wife the other night and she said if I turned the bedside light out she'd take it up the arse... Maybe I should have let it cool down a bit first."
"statistics show that 9 out of 10 men prefer women with big boobs. the statistics also show that the 10th man prefers the other 9"
"going to do everything the Nyquil bottle tells me not to"