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Joke of the Day
"going to do everything the Nyquil bottle tells me not to"
Next Joke
"My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met!"
"""Your place or mine?"" ""But, sir, I just met you. What makes you think I would be interested?"" ""Lady, let's be honest - why else would a 35-year-old woman be at carburettor exhibition?"""
"I always feel a little kinky whenever the lady at Starbucks asks me if I'd like whipped cream on it."
"If I learned anything from Aladdin it was that if u just keep lying to a girl eventually u will get to marry her and live at her dad's house"
"A little boy says, Dad,....... A little boy says, Dad, I've heard that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her.' Son,' says the dad. That happens everywhere.'"
"A priest, a paedophile, and a rapist walk into a bar. And that's just the first guy."
"What's the difference between a joke and two dicks? You can't take a joke."
"*Hello this is your pilot speaking, we still have about 9 hours in the air so let me entertain you folks reading you some of my tweets*"
"Hate shaving? Cut some time out of your morning routine by leaping into the ocean and letting the tide drag you to a watery demise instead."