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Joke of the Day

"Actor Jim Carrey vehemently denounced California's new vaccination requirement for all school-age children because it would render them immune to the childhood disease of being a fan of Jim Carrey."

"Barbie comes with GI Joe She only fakes it with Ken. Saw plenty of pregnant Barbie jokes in this sub-reddit, but not this one."

"What do you call a donkey throwing nuts? An astronaut."

"What's black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white? A Penguin rolling down a hill What's black and white and laughing? The penguin who pushed him"

"*sleeps with the fishes but does not use condom*"

"[Little Caesar's meeting] ""We need a new, clever slogan"" *everyone looks at Jim* Jim: Um... Pizza...Pizza? ""Jim...U just saved this company"""

"Breaking up with Japanese Girls. I hate to breakup with Japanese girls because you have to drop the bomb twice before they get it."

"[as one million ants are carrying me out of my bed to toward their cavern to eat me alive] please let me feed my neopets first"

"Sure, he's got his faults, like -- he's a necromancer, and a hoarder... ... but doesn't everybody have a few skeletons in their closet?"

"Was going to rob a bank today, but the pen was chained to the desk."