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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a donkey throwing nuts? An astronaut."

"Interviewer: How would you describe yourself? Me: Verbally. But I've also prepared a dance."

"She's got the face of an angel, a heart of gold, & a body that won't quit. Who cares that she curses like a trucker and drinks like a fish."

"If you told me in 1995 that you had to use an mp3 player to copy programs to a telephone in the future, I'd assume you had brain damage"

"Shoving a hose up someones butt. What a douche move!"

"When I was in my twenties we didn't have hipsters we had AIDS, which was almost as bad."

"My black friend got offended when I told him a racist joke I told him to lighten up"

"If this post on WebMD is correct, I died like ten years ago."

"What do you call someone who sews extremely fast? Taylor Swift..."

"Why was the intelligent Heineken upset? 'Cus the bud's wiser."