159358

Joke of the Day

"Do you remember that creepy girl who stood behind you on a train 6 years ago and was smelling your hair? Hi!"

"Appreciate the little things.. Hug a midget today."

"What did one unemployed cancer cell say to the other? Lets get Jobs!"

"What do you call it when Charlie Sheen's brother has sex with him? Emilio Incestevez"

"There was a piece of cake in the fridge with a note on it that said, ""Don't eat me."" Now there's an empty plate and a note, ""I don't take orders from a cake."""

"Want to read a great construction joke? Sorry, I'm still working on it."

"Naming a dog after alcohol is cute until they run away and you scream their name until your neighbor brings you a bottle to shut you up."

"Q. How did Adam and Eve feel when expelled from the Garden of Eden? A. They were really put out."

"""ring on the wrong finger"" A: Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger? . B: Yes I am, I married the wrong woman."

"ME [struggling]: skinny jeans, skinny jeans, let me in SCARED DENIM: don't come back till you're thinny, thin, thin"