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Joke of the Day

"Are you eating Jell-O? Cow: ""Yeah."" You know what gelatin is made from, right? Cow: ""No, what?"" Uh. Rainbows. Enjoy, buddy."

"I won the drowning competition. Wanna know my secret? Well, don't hold your breath!"

"Tim: This is Tim from accounting. Me: Hi Tim from accounting. Tim: Just say Tim. Me. Tim. Tim: How are you today? Me: Tim."

"I heard they wanted to do an Asian version of Drive but there's already a movie called Crash."

"What do you call a Jewish Pokemon Trainer ASH"

"Why did the terrorist's post make it to the front page of reddit? Because it blew up."

"Pyramid schemes... Wrong on so many levels"

"Saw a guy with three lip-ring piercings on the subway today. Took everything in my power not to attach a shower curtain."

"Today I saw a sign for a suicide helpline on the back of a bus. Wouldn't it be a lot more helpful if it was on the front?"

"Why do Tajikistani people wear trucker hats? Cuz they're from Douche-anbe!"