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Joke of the Day

"Where do you hide if you kill a black man? Behind a badge."

"My life is like a beautiful piece of furniture from IKEA. Once I figure out how to put it all together, I may get to actually enjoy it."

"What's the best thing about owning a car in Liverpool? You'll eventually end up with enough bricks to build a free garage."

"Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton walk into a bar... And the joke is on us."

"Oprah says we all have a small child inside of us longing to get out & omg why isn't anyone talking about Oprah eating children?"

"Do you know why the Circus industry might go bankrupt? If Donald Trump gets elected, the entire world will just need to listen to the news for a free circus."

"So apparently Robert Downy Jr came out as trans recently, I had a feeling he was Fe-male"

"How long do you have to wait between naps?"

"[interrupts history professor] THAT HAPPENED ON MY BIRTHDAY"

"Do you know what your pimples do while you're asleep? Nothing really, the just zit there."