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Joke of the Day

"Do you know why the Circus industry might go bankrupt? If Donald Trump gets elected, the entire world will just need to listen to the news for a free circus."

"Changed my name in Mrs.B's phone to 'Marty McFly'. Sent her a text saying 'be outside Argos at 12pm - we're going back'. She hasn't txt back"

"When did John McEnroe arrive at Wimbledon? About tennish."

"i was with my mother and i asked if i could go some where and no and i said, their are starving kids in africa she said I don't give a fuck give them a sandwich"

"What do you call a jellyfish on a plane? A flightoplankton."

"God's first concept for a long-necked quadriped was just a rough giraffe."

"One for the Mexican holiday. What do you call four Mexicans drowning? Cuatro Sinko."

"Why did Heisenberg have a miserable sex life? Because when he found the correct position, he didn't have the momentum, and when he finally found the time, he didn't have the energy."

"What did the vegan give the homeless guy? A lecture."

"I want to make an alligator joke... But I'm afraid I'll get carried away."